Second Consequence

The first thing Melanie (our youngest daughter) said when she learned of her fathers disease... we'll move in with you to help with the bills. We had talked of this possibility on and off over the years. Mel is married with two very young children. Their home was in a bad neighborhood which was getting worse right along with the Michigan economy. Her husband has a job that provides a nice living for them. The idea was that they would get out of the bad neighborhood and we would have help with our bills. We would not have to worry about losing our place to live and in the eventuality that Papa should not beat this disease, I would not have to worry about where I would go. They would sell their house as soon as they could and this one would become theirs some time in the near future.

This is all easier said than done. Jean's were the first people to live in this house. Papa's family has been here since 1959 but it is a very small house. This didn't matter so much when there were only three or four people to consider but with Mel et all, there are four adults, one of them very sick, and two little ones. Some years ago papa and I had an addition built, a family room, and there was a bedroom of sorts in the basement. We had to consolidate two families' belongings, finish the bedroom in the basement, put in another bedroom and put in an egress window. We also had to put in a gas line for the dryer in the basement as my brother in law had turned one upstairs bedroom into a laundry room years ago so he would not have to negotiate the basement steps. That room was being turned back into a bedroom for Papa. We also had to do electrical work for the new bedroom and we wanted to put in a second bathroom in the basement.

We are very fortunate: we have friends who have gone above and beyond to help us. First of all, our neighbor, an all around handyman, volunteered to build the new bedroom free of charge. We paid for the lumber, he built the room. The electricity was run by an electrician friend for cost of parts. Another friend put in the gas line for the dryer. The guy who did the bedroom put us in touch with a contractor who ended up putting in the egress window for 1/3 of what he normally charges. That saved us a lot of money. Daughter and her husband paid for some of the work, Papa and I paid for some. And a friend of our son's gave us the use of a storage facility for as long as we need it... believe me, with all our accumulated junk we need that storage unit.

Work began just after the camping trip and while it seemed to drag, it actually progressed quite rapidly. Daughter and son in law were busy packing up their house while I was trying to get rid of stuff here. I also had baby duty much of the time so Daughter could work unhindered and she and oldest daughter did the majority of my packing for me. But still, this was very difficult for me. My grand daughter was only 15 months old at the time and Lord have Mercy!! that child is a handful. She is not a baby to be put in a highchair or play pen with toys, oh no! She wants your constant attention. Add to the mix that I am getting older and I have a knee problem and she was really just getting the hang of walking and wanted to try climbing and she is very curious... that child ran me ragged and it hasn't stopped yet. A 15 month old will cure your insomnia problem!

These were very frustrating weeks. Taking care of Papa and the baby and her big brother was making a wreck out of me. Then the first week of August Papa began his treatments. He was scheduled for radiation five days a week for five weeks, with three extra treatments. He also was to have 1/2 strength chemo every Wednesday for the duration of the radiation. After he was done he would have three weeks rest and then begin chemo at full strength... once a week for three weeks, the fourth week off (that is called a cycle) for six times, or six months. Right now he has completed one cycle. Going for the treatments was a very tiring grind. We had to plan every day around them but sometimes the peace and quiet of the chemo room was the only peace and quiet we would get for a while. We are fortunate that the facility Papa gets his treatments at is only ten minutes from home. We have met people who have had to have radiation twice a day, every day and live an hour away with no place to rest between times. How hard that would be.

Soon after he got out of the hospital in June, I went and applied for Social Security Disability for him. While I dreaded this job, it actually went very smoothly and quickly. I was contacted about two days after turning in his application and had a phone interview a week later. Papa had to give his permission for them to interview me instead of him as he felt too sick to do it. He was approved immediately... I was astonished. The interviewer said that the answers to his questions were sending up all kinds of "red flags," and he felt there would be no delay at all. Sure enough we got an acceptance letter the next week that his disability payments would begin in December. That left us with five months with only my disability as income... OY! But at least we knew it would be coming and with the kids here, we would be able to make it through.

So... end of August; work on house is almost done, the storage unit is filled to the brim, the washer and dryer are moved to the basement, the egress window is in, Baby is in her new bedroom, Papa is in his new bedroom, I am in my room with my computer desk and ten huge Rubbermaid tubs filled to overflowing with sewing and quilting fabric, Brother is in his new bedroom and ready to start classes at his new school, Papa's disability is in the works, we have no more money for insurance but we did manage in there somewhere to pay for one more month, taking us to roughly the end of August. We had to forget about the second bathroom as we ran out of money. Hopefully, soon as it is sorely needed.

Our home is often chaos. Daughter and family brought their two dogs with them and we have one. They are all big. They are all barky. They all drive me insane. Baby Mae lugs out all her toys into the middle of the living room, several times a day. My refrigerator is covered with so many alphabet magnets that you can not see the color beneath and if there are more than two of us adults in the kitchen, it's like watching "Dancing With The Stars," we have to waltz to move around that tiny room. Brother Eli is often very noisy as only a seven year old can be, especially one with mild ADHD. In fact the noise level here is terrible, daughter can be raucous too, Holy Cow! I am an old third shifter and I am not used to all this noise. Add to the fracas that Papa is by now very sick, he feels like shit warmed over. The radiation treatments are taking their toll. He is very tired, some days he sleeps 22 hours and still feels fatigued. He is always nauseated and his weight is dropping at an alarming rate.

But chaotic though it may be, I love having them here. Mel and her hubby make me laugh, Baby and Brother are a joy to be around. Mae loves her grandma and I love getting up with her in the morning (I only do it sometimes, I don't want that to be a routine) and getting her breakfast. I love reading "Ruby and Max" for seventy five times in one day. I have someone to share grocery shopping with and someone who actually likes to play Scrabble once in a while, someone I can talk books with. When it gets too loud I escape to my bedroom and close the door, although sometimes I have to ignore Mae if she sees me sneaking off. She does not approve of my closed door.